God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
