dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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