Me too!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
