I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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