Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
