For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
