If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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