just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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