its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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