i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hippo gnu deer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
