we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
