Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
