I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I could make wine with my vomit
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
