Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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