how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
