She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
