Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
