worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
there is glitter all over my balls
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