I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
