id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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