if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
