Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
