Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
