I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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