so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need moral support for this bender
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
