with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
