her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
