he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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