i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
