My balls are so social today.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
