there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
