He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
