I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
