People in love make me want to vomit
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
