2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
