All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
