How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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