heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
