I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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