Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
