white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
