The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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