The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
