Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
