Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
