You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
