Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
