the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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