Since when is my name a synonym for head?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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