so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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